I know for certain that
- the devil you know can be far less scary than the possibility of being free from him, and parts of you will fight like hell to keep the world from changing, even for the better. I am trying to embrace the change, no matter how fearful I feel.
- emotions are messy, complicated creatures, and cannot be ordered and managed like well-mannered books in a bookshelf, and it’s exactly when you most wish you could control them that they flare up and set everything ablaze, ruining your pants as well as the curtains.
- it’s best to spread the burden/privilege of listening over many friends. You, and they, will be much happier for it.
- I, with my monster-movie-watching ways, am far more afraid of the dark than any adult has any right to be, which adds just one more brilliantly devastating aspect to my new-found solitude. I am learning to be kind to myself and turn the lights on when I have to.
- the best way to fight resolve is with agreement – it steals the wind from the sails and stops an argument cold. However, not everyone who agrees with you is on your side, nor will they necessarily continue to agree with you once the deed is done.
- tv good guys and bad guys are easy to spot, but the real world is full of people who are a little good and a little bad, and the danger lies in how easy it is to mistake one for the other.
- you can get used to anything if you believe it’s your fault.
- you will surprise yourself at how fragile you feel.
- you will surprise yourself at how strong you are.
- freed from the patterns of the past, you will have to spend a lot of time trying to sort out who you are.
- you will laugh and cry, yell and scream at the worst times, and the test of real friendship is that your friends will understand that.
- you will be horrified by what you’ve survived. You will be terrified of what’s to come. As my friends have told me, “you can do it if you Just. Keep. Moving.”
and, last but not least:
- there’s no question about it – the bed’s too big without him.
Honey, you are my hero. You are working through some of the hardest stuff anybody has to and you’re doing it with your love and your sens of humor intact. I’m so impressed. Just keep doing what you’re doing, don’t try to make all your emotions and reactions and such fit into well-behaved boxes. Feel what you feel and breathe your way through it.
I love you, I’ll stand by you .. cheer you on and console you, encourage and commiserate with you. Whatever you need, love.
An incredible list. “You can get used to anything if you believe it’s your fault” really struck a chord with me.
<>
no need to connect the dots. they will connect themselves sooner or later as long as you keep moving forward.
hey. I put hugs in there too & html aced them out. so you get even bigger HUGS
I am apparently a complete idiot and commented on post from a month ago that i thought was new. but annnnyway. You are a strong and brave individual. I’m sorry things are hard right now.
It’s not the kind of thing where platitudes will help, so I’ll just say what is. You’re strong. You’re loved. We’re here when you need an ear to listen, or anything more. Just ask.
Darlin’,
I will always be standing by your side thru thick and thin with you. You ARE strong, even though you feel fragile. Like you said. Just. Keep. Moving.
Love