Uncommon Curiosity

(Continued from Kyle’s Visit – Saturday)

When Kyle and I got back to the hotel, we lay in bed talking, and touching, for a few hours.  We had had a wonderful conversation at lunch and then on our walk, and it continued well past dinnertime.  It’s so much easier to say the dangerous things out loud when we’re together, and we certainly took advantage of the closeness.  We talked about jealousy and distance, wanting and not having, sharing our experiences apart – all the difficulties of a long-distance, loving relationship.  Every few minutes the conversation would pause and one of us would say something risky, and we’d both flinch a little, waiting for the world to crumble, but it never did, and so we’d talk some more.  Of course I miss him, wish we could see each other more.  Do I imagine a different world sometimes?  Of course, I’m human…but I wouldn’t break this world we were given for anything, and so we kept on talking.  We talked about why others are so scary, but possibly necessary, for two people who, let’s be honest, only see each other 20 days a year.

It’s hard to explain why, but all the hard conversations bring us closer, make me love him even more, even as we’re admitting, out loud, how difficult the road is.  There’s a trust in honesty that transcends fantasy – don’t promise me a rose garden, let’s just make the best of the patch of land we’ve got.

We were sitting together, hugging and laughing, and I asked if it was a good time and Kyle gave me a shy, excited smile and nodded.  I asked him to take off his clothes and bring me his collar.  He knelt down on the floor in front of me and I stroked his head and shoulders.  I love my hands in his hair, on his skin – it’s humbling to feel so much strength beneath my touch, so smooth and submissive, My boy, My girl, My amazing man.

I stroked his neck as I placed the collar around his neck, and then I made my vows:

As I place this collar on your neck,

I acknowledge and honor your strength,

the courage of a man who is brave enough

to bow before another

in love and service.

I promise to celebrate that strength, to express to you every day

how lucky I feel to be served by one so strong.

I acknowledge and honor the trust

which you have given me,

and promise to never abuse it or take it for granted.

I will strive to earn that trust every day,

and to remind you how grateful I am that you choose, every day, to give it to me.

I acknowledge and honor your submission,

your willingness to serve,

placing your body and will in my hands.

I promise to always remember that submission is a gift you give me,

and never forget the partner within the boy.

My boy, my lover, my friend, my partner,

do you accept my collar freely and with joy?

Collaring means so many things to so many people.  To me, it is a joy and an honor to be served by a man as incredible as Kyle – I wanted the vows to emphasize that we remain, at heart, equal partners in life, as well as the love and respect I feel for him.  In preparing for his visit, I looked to a lot of different ceremonies and stories for inspiration and realized that none really fit us – so I decided to post my vows not just to share the experience, but also to provide a different perspective on a sometimes divisive topic.

I was nearly in tears as I spoke the words I had written for him, as I stroked his head and held him close, and he responded so eloquently I wish I had thought to capture the moment on video.  He spoke, without notes, about serving me, in love and in strength, and expressed such love and joy it nearly brought me to tears again.  (I tell you, dating a writer just gets better and better.)  The moment was perfect – powerful and solemn, but still full of such love and deep respect – and I tried to capture a little with my camera.

Here’s my boy, a gorgeous celebration of submission, love, ecstasy and power – not my power over him, but his own power of self -  self-awareness and self-control:

You can see a few red marks on his chest and shoulders where I enjoyed him a bit more emphatically than the ceremony originally called for.

And here’s My gorgeous, proud boy, happily showing off his new collar.

What a lucky, lucky Sir I am.

Next up – we head to the dungeon.