Sometimes when things get rough, you just gotta cry uncle. I’m gonna be taking a vacation from my online life – maybe a day, maybe a week – to give me some time to get my head screwed on straight (gayly forward.)
Be seeing you…
(* I actually think fishing is barbaric, so it would mostly be throwing vegetarian** fish snacks into the water and enjoying the yummy noises they*** all make.)
(**By which I do NOT mean eggplant, because it’s related to deadly nightshade, and therefore clearly poisonous, nor squash, whose Latin name is lagenaria, which translates as, “warning – do not eat, these are bitter, squishy and gross. I’m serious. Don’t eat these. You’ll regret it.” Sadly, my mother’s Latin was a bit rusty, and so she served them up frequently, and you can see how I turned out. Please, for the love of all that is good, stop forcing these so-called foods on your vegetarian friends. Take your anger out at a shooting range or in a tell-all memoir like other normal people do. Remember, vegetarians are your friends and chocolate and cheese are both vegetarian, if you use the right sources. And, no, hiding squash under a lot of cheese isn’t fooling anyone. If you’re desperate, take that squash out and serve it to your vegan friends – as far as I can tell, they don’t have taste buds anyway.)
(***The fish, not the snacks.)
Hey.. so, how are the fish bitin’? I shouldn’t be surprised anymore that in the depths of depression and pain you manage to write something so damned funny. Honey, baby, love.. I adore you and I won’t serve you any squash while you’re visiting.