Comments for Uncommon Curiosity

Comment on Pine Sol for the Soul by sroxy

sroxy — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 23:36:39 +0000

The sun came up and we definitely still love each other. Thank you for being strong with me.

Comment on Pine Sol for the Soul by Victoria Oldham

Victoria Oldham — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 23:36:35 +0000

I whole heartedly recommend The Pagan Book of Living and Dying. It deals with grief on so many levels.

Comment on Pine Sol for the Soul by Kyle

Kyle — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 23:22:16 +0000

I’m a big believer in getting down in the mud, have been all my life. Seems like the more we try to avoid the mud, the more mud there is. It’s hard to go there, easier to go there with you. Sitting at work, connected to you through the webcam, feeling each emotion with you, crying and grieving and heaving and trying not to choke as the tide of pain and grief and guilt surged and tossed us around. We didn’t hide from it, we named the pain, we called out the guilt, we spoke out loud about fear and we sat down in the mud of our accumulated grief and didn’t shy away from any of it. And the amazing thing is, surrounded by all of that, we came to a place where we felt … if not better, at least not alone. I said something the other day, about whether it was really a good thing to stick by our agreement to be so open and brutally honest. You reassured me that it was still the right thing to do, and I agree. I don’t want you to ever feel that you’re alone. You and I feel a lot of the same things. We rail at the unfairness of this life, we grieve for lives we could have had together.

I don’t know what’s going to change, or how much, it seems change is the only constant. And we’ve seen a lot of it, and we’re still together in love. The sun came up today, I saw you on the cam, we smiled at each other. The sun came up today, the sky is blue and I went outside to work my ass off, because life doesn’t stop making work just because my heart is falling apart. The sun came up today and we still love each other. And that’s all I need to know.

Comment on Here Comes the by butchtastickyle

butchtastickyle — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:10:17 +0000

I appreciate the things you held back, you know much more about the situation than you’ve shared. I haven’t shared much with the blog reading public, you know all of it, you’ve been my sounding board and confidant, and I thank you for continuing to be so worthy of that trust.

This is a hard thing. It’s a dream come true to be able to marry my partner of 18 years. It’s also something I didn’t quite believe would happen in my lifetime. Maybe that’s why I didn’t really sit myself down to consider how it would feel, if it were possible. I love two women, deeply, and I am only allowed to marry one. I love each of you and for each of you, I have a different love. It doesn’t seem fair that only one of these loves can be be honored legally.

The grief is real, the guilt is real, and I’m feeling it, too. At the same time, I feel like a shit, because I should be overjoyed at the turn of events. Instead, I’m unhappy because I feel that by honoring her, I’m dishonoring you. I’ve been given a wish and now find that I’m not sure it’s what I wish for, anymore.

So we’re both struggling with conflicts in our heads and hearts. I know I love you and I know you love me, and I know you love Theo, and you know I love my wife. ‘Complicated’ doesn’t begin to describe how this feels right now.

There’s a lot I don’t know, there’s a lot I’m struggling with. I’m fighting tears today and feeling lost in a world of my own making. I do know this, rock solid and without question: I love you and I want to be in your life until there is no life, and if there is something beyond, I want to be with you there, too. I love you and your presence in my life is a huge blessing, you’ve changed my life and me in so many wonderful ways. I don’t know what the future looks like, but I have not lost that solid feeling that you are in it with me, and I am in it with you. I’m not letting go of you, love.

Comment on My Walls by Kyle

Kyle — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 04:36:10 +0000

This gave me chills. In my mind, I went back to when I met you and ran the tape forward. So much has happened in a short time, you have changed your life and the lives of your children for the better. Of course, there is much still to do, there always is, but right now I am toasting you for the work you have done. For the personal progress you’ve made. Do you have any idea how differently you talk about yourself, about him about the situation then you did when we met? The difference is profound and amazing.

I love you so much and I admire you so much. Each step you take is important, each step is leading you toward empowerment. I am very deeply honored to be a witness to your journey. Namaste.

Comment on Trust Enough by Kyle

Kyle — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 18:55:28 +0000

Oh… baby, so much challenge, so many differences in assumptions and approaches, you two come from such different angles sometimes. This is not a 101 level relationship, that’s for sure, and sadly, no one teaches the courses needed to navigate all of these rough waters. So we’re left to our own devices, left to lean on friends and loved ones and our own experience and still we sometimes come up short of finding that secret key that will unlock the mysteries and smooth the way. I know how hard you work on this with Theo, and I know Theo does, too.

Trust is similar to respect, I think. It’s something that has to be earned and built over time. When we first met, and throughout our relationship, we’ve worked through trust issues. Trust is not something to be taken for granted, or assumed. It should be cultivated, reinforced and re-earned as time goes on. And some areas are easier to award trust in than others.

“In life, it’s really not the landing – it’s just being willing to jump.”

Love is not for wimps. Knowing something about your life experiences, your current and past challenges in the area of trust and intimacy, I give you a solid 10 on this dive.

Not too many years ago, you took a chance and made the leap into a relationship with me. I know how strong and brave you are, there is no question in my mind. I love you, honey, and I’m always standing by, ready to leap in after you whenever you need.

Comment on Fear Itself by Blazer

Blazer — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 04:00:12 +0000

I think you are pretty damn brave. Enjoy the ride!

Comment on Fear Itself by meridith

meridith — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 20:42:04 +0000

Fear it may be but I admire your bravery in the face of it. I find it hard to think when I’m in the thick of things and as a result I careen around banking on the best outcomes. You seem to have a grasp on things in spite of their slippery-ness.

Comment on Fear Itself by greg

greg — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 15:27:09 +0000

You see yourself however you choose to, over on my side of the screen you are a straight up rock star. Theo has their fans and so do you. Have a great trip.

Comment on Fear Itself by B_V (@rugby8)

B_V (@rugby8) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 23:57:53 +0000

love you and just remember I’m right beside you if you need me.

Val